Shit That I Have Realized

So I've noticed lately that there is a trend in the porn industry, I know this because our black box allows us to get 4 channels of porno, that a lot of the girls are lesbians. Now if I could meet a chick like the ones that I see, I think I wouldn't know what to do with my self. What ever hopped to the hard penis being inserted into the vagina. I know that these dikes are cool and what not, but in the real world they don't really exist because the dikes are old fat nasty bitches that wouldn't even get a scum bag of a man, so the turn to fellow women who have the same problem, or they are women who were married how gotta divorce and now hate all men except priests. I won't say I'm going to boycott porn, like the blacks did the bus, but I am upset when I turn on the tube and see two chicks eating each other out, because I realize that I never Happens.

Another thing, Massachusetts Blows. To start, you can't go to your local convenient store and pick up a 6-pack of your favorite fermented beverage. You have to go to a package store and deal with those shucks. And in Boston, they are usually non-English speaking fuckers. Also, all of the bars close at 2. In the biggest college town in the country, the bars close at 2 in the fucking morning. How gay is this. If I were a bar owner I would lobby the Massachusetts State government and get them to change this ubber-gay law because they will make up the money in underage drinkers how will most definitely say till close while still chasing that last lonely girl at the bar.

So the other day I was doing my laundry here at school, and this chick comes down with a huge load of clothes and a large bottle of detergent. So I said to myself "self, its going to suck to be her, when she has to take all of those clothes back upstairs because all of the washers are full." Next thing I see is this stupid hoe loading her dry clothes into the dryer. Instead of telling her that it was a dryer, I decided to see how far this shit is going to last. She loads all of her clothes in.... This is the point where I left because I couldn't with hold my urge to slap the bitch for being to stupid. But when I came down 38 minutes later, to switch my shit over to the dryer, her clothes were spinning in the dryer. What made it worse was that she was extremely hott!!! But as I have realized, the hotter they are the more common sense they lack.

Here is a short list of the things I could live without:
1. Pop ups - how the fuck is going to click on a link that whey are the 34556603687 visitor to a site that they never heard of, after it interrupts whatever they were doing. If you answer "I would" go kill yourself because they are only there to piss people off and have no actual purpose in life. How ever thought of this idea was a genius because he has found something that pissed everyone off and the god thing about them is that they don't know when they are going to strike. This man is my hero, I wish I would piss people off like that.
2. The bell in Elevators - If you need to be reminded when the boor in front of you is about to open, they you are a fucking retard and should be the next Jessica Simpson. They have no purpose except to piss you off when you have to go to the 15th floor and hear that fucking "ding" on every floor. This is when I pray for the elevator cables to snap and fall to my death, because that would first off be cool to die in an elevator accident and to you would never have to hear that fucking noise again.
3. Vegetarians - All these people to is piss me off, especially after working in a restaurant for 5 years. I hope the die in an accident where they are eaten by a cow, a lamb, and a pig. The worst are the vegans who don't eat any animal products at all. I would not be able to survive more then 13 hours with out something soaked in animal fat. I always got a kick when some rich fuckers order some Vegan pancakes and we grease the grittle with the back fat of a pig.
4. Cock Teases - Who doesn't hate a bitch who is all over you at a party and then she's like "Bye Bye." What make it worse is when they were clothes that leave nothing to the imagination and does a cartwheel wearing a skirt and a thong. If this isn't asking for a huge penis, then I guess I must be a gay cheerleader that like penis and wears a pink shirt, this just happens to be a description of a dude at the party the other night, because all the the sluts I know would do a lot less to get a giant meat sausage for the night. I hope these types of girls turn out to be the nasty dikes I mentioned before, because no straight man wants to be around a slut like this.

That it for now, and remember no fat chick is safe to fuck, ever!!

TOP TEN PEOPLE THAT PISS ME OFF

*Just a clafification on the last entry, I was asked if I was referencing certin people when talking about buying alcohol. The answer is NO. In all of my enteries I am speaking in general terms unless otherwise states.

The people on this list have been taken from a large list and narrowed down to the top ten people that should be dragged outback and shot in the head with a .50 caliber machine gun.

#10 Stupid Kids in my Classes - These are usually the kids who only show up for class once every few weeks after the professor assumes that they have dropped. I had a kid in one of my classes who was dumb as fuck, we will refer to him as Andre, which also happens to be his real name. Andre was assigned to my group for a project, to start off, we had to call him and wake him up and remind him that we should have been there 20 minutes ago. Then when he arrived, he forgot his shit. Then to top things off, he wanted to put a fuckin osmosis equation in our simple presentation. Im not a fucking biologist, im an Engineer, I don't fucking care about osmosis and neither does the professor, do die Andre, Die. Which makes this even better the professor but him and another kin in the "Looser Group" for the final projects.  You know these people are fuck-ups when the professors call them idiots.

#9 The Hairy Girl - When visiting the lady friends in the previous entry, we were greeted at the door by this girl who was fucking nasty. Her back was covered in hair, not peach fuzz but huge black hairs that you can see from the moon. They framed her ass crack very well. And to top off her uglyness was the fact that she was fat. You would think that these people would stay as far away from people as possible and only when neccessary to come out in public that they cloth their entire body so no skin is sceen. This girl was still there 40 minutes later when I returned from the building. I wanted to slit her throat with a dull serrated knife. To make matters worse, I found out that she lives in my building. Everytime I see her now, I'm going to remind her that she has more hair on her ass and back then I do. DIE BITCH DIE!!

#8 Fat People - I not talking about 20 or 30 pounds overweight but people who weigh 4 or 5 hundred pounds. I love the commercials where the people have tried every diet and still can't lose the weight. I have a solution to your problem. LAY OFF THE FUCKING FOOD! You do not need a whole bucket of chicken when you go to KFC. Thats why you are huge in the first place. If you just ate half the amount that you do know you will lose the weight in no time. If you were to try to shoot these people in the traditional mannor, the bullets might bounce back, so instead you might try lauching them with a trebuchet, a catapult for you undereducated faggots, off a bridge, and if they dont die upon impact they will surly drowned because they can't swim because they are HUGE!!

#7 Janitors - Janitors complain too much about their jobs and want you to pick up after youself. Its not my job to pick up trash or scrub the shit stains off the bathroom walls, its theirs and if I were to do it, i would exoect to get their paychecks.  All they do is complain, stop you bitching if you don't like it and get youself another job. At least you have one. I'm pretty sure that they could find a Mexican who would love to do it for half  the pay.

#6 Tech Support - If you can;t speek english and understand what your saying, them you must be a tech support. You have all delt with these people. Dell employes alot of them. So I called up dell one day when my computer was acting all gay, and the lady told me  that I would need a new motherboard. When the tech arrived and I told him what was wrong, he was like "let me guess, you spoke to an Indian?" I was like yep. He told my they are are stuipd and that when they call me back tell them that they are stupid fucks and hang up. I have disocvered that after you talk to them your shits more messed up then before and you just spent 3 hours of your life talking to some fucks out in India somewhere reading off cards whats wrong with your shit. I wish lifw was like the cartoons so I could reach through the phone and strangle the fuck out of these people. Next time my computer starts being all gay I will throw if out the window in hopes that a semi will run it over, that way I can get a new one, and not have to deal with the Indian fucks for hours and not get anywhere.

#5 Laura Miller - She is a stupid bitch that I went to high school with. She is one of those people who laughs all of the time even when its not funny thinks its cool. They are the type of person who plays sports and sucks more then a gay man in a San Fransisco. So during junior year she decided to become a cheerleader. Let me start off and tell you that she looks like she fell out of the ugly tree more then once. She also would talk about it all of the time and pratice her cheers in  class. Here a cheer to try bitch DIE MOTHER FUCKER DIE. To make matters worse she drunk dialed me from one of my friends from homes phone and tried to by some slut from Aladin. When I finally got her off the phone, he said i know how she was and I guess immediately. He told me the next day that she didn't want him to tell he because I would kill him. I was like why would I kill you when I would get more enjoyment and thrill if I sluttered her. I think the best way for her to go is feet first through a Indtstrial wood chipper, that way she would feel the pain and it would also look wicked cool watching her body being chewed up and spewed into tiny fragments.

#4 Girls who do not pay for alcohol - You know the type, I like to refer to them as Sororostitutes.  These bitches think its a right to go to a party and not have to pay anything. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? I could see if you were a HOT chick but most of these girls are ugly as one of those hairless cats. I do not care who you are, if you are going to drink my alcohol, that you pay me in some type of currency. I remember a certin sign, cash, grass or ass.... no one drinks for free. To make it worse, these girls complain when all you have is beer. Learn to like it slut, especially if your not paying a fucking aberham Lincolin for it, once again for you stupid faggots hes on the penny.

#3 People who do not speak English - Your in America, speek fucking English, we speek your native language when we go to your country not fuckin speek ours.

#2 People who have sex in bathrooms - There people piss me off alot, especially after I've been drinking and have to use the stairewell to releave myself because you are fucking in the bathroom. In the last 2 weeks I have found myself using alternative methods of pissing because the bathroom had been taken over by people who have found the urge to fuck. Go back to your own room or find some place other than the only bathroom, especially if its not your place, to fornicate.  If you need to have sex that bad, have it in the middle of the room because no one really cares, and its not like they have not seen it before.

#1 Asian Jenn - She the combination of many of the above listed. She is the Korean that I talk about then I saw I hate all Asians. She doesn't pay for alcohol. She once wanted me to give, and I mean give, her my alcohol because she was going out and needed to pregame. I was like fuck you, i hate you. I stood my ground and my roomate made me drink the rest of the 151 bottle the next weekend by myself. She also sexiled me at 3:00 am 2 nights in a row. Thats when I had enough. I stopped talking to her and refused to answer the door when she knocked, even though I was right next to the door on the couch. What made things even better is that she was always in im our room and I think I went 2 weeks without saying a word to her.  If i ever see her again, I will curb stomp her after I rape her with a with the bussiness end of a chainsaw.

 

People Are Morons

~Recently I have discovered that people take advantage of their elders, especialy if they are over the age of 21. I know that the the last few years of your teenage life, this is especialy true in college, that you are always looking for people to buy you booze. But these people get tired of running out to the store and risking their lives to make these purchases. They are risking jail time as well as hefty fines. I think that I have come up with the perfect conpromise. For all the the hard work the booze runner should be compensated with sexual favors. Now this does not mean coitus (Intercorse) but they should revieve something. This would be an unwritten rule that everyone should obeyed, unless their either to ugly or way to fucking fat, they have no chance in hell in getting anything at all because partying leadsto sex and these people need to be sterilized and removed from the population, sort of live genocide.
 
~While we are on the subject of sex, it seems that everytime that I step foot outside that I am constantly being rapped by bums asking me for change. Tonight for example, I was headed out for some Ben and Jerry's and Red Bull and was asked twice to homeless fucks for change. I should also add the the walk is only a few hundred feet to store 24. This is outragous. Yesterday was even better. I was walking home from the otherside of campus after spending time with a few lady friends that I was bombarded my a "Homeless Man" as he called himself for a dollar for 4 quaters. So, I thought to myself "Self, this seems to be a great deal, this man is't begging for change, maybe he is just trying to get a soda from the machine, but it only takes bills." So I went ahead and decided to help the man out.  After thumbing thru my wallet I decided to say "All I got is a 20." thinking that he would leave me alone, but he was like that would be better. Thats when I realized that he was trying to fuck me over.  So started to walk away and hes like give me that ten and I'll give you this money, so when I asked him how much he had he said 8. So I was like im getting screwed in this deal and im not going to support you. He said he was trying to get a room at the shelter, but I had seen him before around the city with the same catch phrase.  I ended up giving him a dollar in hopes that he would leave me alone, but as I started to walk away he followed he saying that I was making fun of him by laughing and not giving him more money, and that if I were to ask him for money he would to all that he could to help me, but before I could respond another innocent bystander was asked for a dollar for 4 quaters. I still don't know what 4 quaters had to do with anything but I did notice one thing, he had 2 huge rocks in his ears and looked clean cut for a bum. I have decided to answer all bums plea for change with this "Do what your parents did and get a job and buy your own crack and booze"
 
~Earlier in the same day while going to get some food after a night of drinking I would be screwed out of more money. I'm boarding the T with the above mentioned lady friends and the conductor goes "Son, the fare is a dollar twenty five, and you only put in a quater." I was outraged. I says to the man "look, i put in the dollar twenty five and look I only have another dollar twenty five to get back." At this point I wanted to extend my hand and punch the guy in the face for even stopping me but soon realized he would have sued me and it would probably be seen as an act of racism because he was black. So I put in another dollar and steamed to the back of the car with rage. What fuckface decided to raise the fare to $1.25 in the first place. I could see if it were like D.C. where you go underground to catch the Metro and can buy cards in any amount with and with any denomination of bills. But in Boston with streetcars you only have two choices,  5 quaters or a dollar bill and a single quater. who carries around a role of quaters with them at all time. Christ it weighs almost half a pound. So on that note I am boycotting the T system all togeather and am walking to where ever I have to go and if thats to far I can always ride my bike.
 
~ What with wearing sunglasses inside? Is there a hidden sun that I do not know about, because if there is I will start.  Or maybe there are weird rays that are ommited my the walls that will cause blindness. All i know is that these people look ridiculous. These are the same people who wear them in cloudy days. Whenever I see these people I want to rip the lenses off thir face and grind then into the ground and kick them in the balls. The only time sunglasses should be worn is on bright sunny days or if you are blind. then its ok, just look at Stevie Wonder or the late Ray Charles, they rocked the sunglasses and would have looked funny with their blind eyes staring at crouds of people with their eyes moving in all directions.
 
~While talking about ridiculous people, I hate it when I see this girl in alot of my classes wearing bright purple shorts and a pair of wonder women socks that go up to her knees. And to make things worse she is also wearing fake birkenstock sandles and sunglasses.  She is normaly an attractive person but on these days she look like a cross between a well I don't really know, maybe a fucking idiot that needs to be hit in the head a couple of times with a 2x4.
 
Thats all for know but I have started a list of things that are pissing me off and its getting longer by the day and I am thinking about making an entery every couple of days. Feel free to leave comments or if you have experinced any of the same fucking idiots.

Its been a long time

Wow, its been a really long time since I've added anything here.

~Yesterday I went to the Dave Matthews Concert at the Tweeter Center. It was fuckin' Amazing. I can't wait to go to another one of his concerts. I realized that you become deindividualized. Execpt the old front-to-back guy who sat in front of us. Thats how he was dancing, front to back pelvic thrusts. It was hysterical to watch. It was the best $70 I've spent, and we didn't even get stuck in traffic, gotta love it when you go with someone who goes to Wheaton and knows the back roads.

~For the last 6 hours I've been working on 5 physics problems, yes I mean 5. The problems were so fucking redicilous. I figured that you must think of everything ass backwards and gay and thats how you get answers. Physics=Gay that should be a Universial Constant, just like g=9.8.

~So apparently in the state of Massachutches it is illegal to light off your own works. Execpt those stupid little piece of shit sparklers you get at a gas station. While in Seekonk (where James lives) we went to light some mortars and whatnot off down at the end of a road. All was going fine until the neighbors called the cops. Next thing I notice is a spot light shining in out faces. Instead trying to hide the shit in the woods, like mist people, the fireworks were left in a bag in the middle of the road. So the first cop, Officer Fuckface is all high and mighty and treats us like murders and was a huge douche bag. When his back up arrived out steped this other cop that was cool. When asked if they were busy tonight he was like "nope, just you guys." As if they had nothing better to do. So we were offered to options, #1 bust up the fireworks so they were unuseable, or #2 Be arrested so we took the first one. As we were crushing the explosives in to the ground some jackass asked if we could get rid of them by lighting them off. HAHAHA good idea. But officer Fuckface was like thats what got you guys in trouble in the first place. It was hard to guy seriously because me looked like Mark Martin and talked like Ward Berton. For you non NASCAR fans, this if a FUCKING FUNNY combination. Anyway to make a bad night even worse, the car we rode in was stuck on the side of the road because somehow the key broke and well, we had to wait for the locksmith to come and make another one. To make a long story short, the Seekonk Police have nothing better to do on the 4th of July to bust a few kids with fire works when they could be out busting people for DUI's and DWI's because you know that drinking and the 4th go hand and hand.

~The other day while riding the T and witnessing a blind man sleeping, asked myself "Self, do blind people have a hard time falling asleep? Because they are bling." This got me thinking, when I try to fall asleep and fail, I find myself staring at the clock, wall, little light on my computer that blings and wonder if not having the ability to see would help. This is one of those questions that can never be answered because ................well it just can't.

~While on the subject of blind people, I was sitting on the bench killing time between class and saw this black and walking down the path wearing sunglasses and carring someting in his hand. As he got nearer I realized it was one of those blind man sticks that are red and white with the little rubber thing on the bottom, but here is the interesting part. It was folded up like one other those poles in a tent and was carring it under his arm. I was like what the fuck? And he was talking to himself like many of the other blindmen I see tripping over things in the city. But he was walking likw anyone else and managed to follow the path across campus. Are there really bling people out there taking advantage of society?

~On the first day of physics as soon as I walk in to the assigned room my jaw hit the floor in shock. We were given a lecture hall that hold 175+ people for a class of 8. 8 fucking people. We all could spread out shit in 15 seats and still have some left over. This is the same University that assigned a Chemistry Final in a room with 18 chairs for a class with 26 people, thats after a bunch of people stopped coming to class. I wish I could have the drugs that the guy who os inchage of room assignments is on because someone fucked up big time. Jesus.

~Gotta love 1:30 pm classes because you can go to bed at 5am and get 8 hours of sleep and still be on time for class. But it suckes because I miss my programs in the afternoon like Married with Childern and MacGyver. Oh well but atleats I get a 3 day weekend every week.


Thats all of the random thoughts and craziness that I can think of for now but I promise there will be a lot more real soon.

~Word of the Day
Orifice

Saturday

-Went to the club Tonight, it was intersting thats for sure, Armond did some weird shit on the dance floor and still didn't get a girl
-How the fuck is it posssible that you can buy an accessory for a product but you can not buy the product itself because it is illegal to possess, take the blow gun for example, in Mass you can not have a blowgun but you can haave the ammo for it? What the hell is the purpose of having ammo if you cant have a blow gun? Ubber Gay.
-When i walked around today I realised that the people get poorer the further you get away from -2 more days until I get to go home amd sleep in a real but in a real room and I finaly get a full nights sleep without being woke by the fuckin' T at 5:30 in the morning.
-As a walked around the city today I realized that I am lucky to have a shower everyday and can afford a drink when I'm thirsty and do not need to take the have drankin' coke out of the traash can in the middle of Haymarket Center.
-Yesterday I saw the movie Dodge Ball, its the funniest movie I've seen since Half Baked.

Today's Word of the Day
~Ubber Gay

FIRST POST

-I have one more class and a final until I finaly get a break from school.
-Today I went for a ride around Boston and saw a lot of intersting sites. Finaly made my way to the ocean were I saw Jelly Fish and alot of bums sleeping on the benches. I did not realize that Boston had to many.
-I also realized that fat people do not come out in the summer. They stay inside and Eat and Eat!
-I can't wait to go to the Dave Mathews concert on the 6th of July.
-Also can't wait to go back to Maine and hang with the Migis Crew. Its been along time.


TODAY's WORD OF THE DAY
~Autoerotic Asphyxiation